Walking Hand in Hand With God

I've neglected this little blog o mine for a considerable amount of time. Not necessarily by choice really. But on the 1st of October I was sort of looking through it, and by serendipitous chance, I came across a comment from Reno, about exactly the same time, so I thought maybe it was time to "spill the beans," so to speak!

A few days after my surgery, in March, I began to cough. I thought I had a virus, which seemed to make sense since my son was getting over a nasty virus.  The problem was, I didn't stop coughing. I coughed and coughed and coughed and felt terrible.  I had a clear chest x-ray in March prior to surgery, and on a trip to Utah in April to go through my mother's things, my sister dragged me to urgent care which produced another clear chest x-ray.

In May, I began to be very ill with what was termed "pleurisy."  The pain in my left ribcage was horrendous and I spent hours on the couch and in a recliner just trying to get through the days.  Another trip to the doctor with meds, but no chest x-ray.

The middle of June, just after our #14 grandbaby was born, I woke up in the middle of the night with severe heart irregularities. I knew it was serious and ended up in the emergency room with what is termed as "atrial fibrillation," or irregular heartbeat.  In the process of working all this up, I had yet another chest x-ray and this one was ominous.

I had a large tumor in my left lung, which ultimately proved to be a malignancy.  It took the doctors over six weeks to determine vaguely what they thought it was.  I'm still not sure exactly the exact tumor type, since it has been changed since the original diagnosis.

So there you have it, I'm battling cancer.  Time and space does not permit the telling of the huge tender mercies that I have been blessed with.  The prayers, the fastings, the blessings and the personal revelation that has been received by me and my family.

The bottom line is, I am going to get well.  I woke up on October 1st, 2013, one year after my mother's passing from lung cancer, and prepared to head off to the cancer center for my fourth round of chemotherapy. I'm doing SO well!  I am SO blessed! The tumor IS shrinking!

In the meantime, grandbaby #15 has been born and God is teaching me daily.  I am full of gratitude for the bounteous blessings that He has so generously bestowed upon me!  I hope to update the blog more often, but sometimes energy doesn't permit!

I'm really doing well, I promise.  I appreciate all the prayers and fastings for me! I love God and what He is teaching me at this point in my life.  I have goals and dreams and we are even working in our garden in this glorious time of year in the sunny desert!  I take one day at a time and I remember the manna that God gave the children of Israel to sustain them on a daily basis. I ask for that each day!

I will be okay.

My-O-My Five Facts for Friday

I've been wanting to resume my five facts, but somehow I think too much and do too little about it! So here goes.....

#1

My-O-My.  Or rather myomectomy. My new medical term for today. It means that the surgery I had Monday that was SUPPOSED to be a polypectomy turned into a myomectomy, which is normal regular language means that what they thought was a polyp that they could snip off turned out to be a fibroid, which took longer and a little more digging to get out, ugh, that last phrase just gave me the shivers.  Which is good news because fibroids are almost never cancerous. So that little worry that's been bugging me since November is resolved.  Now if I can just FEEL better. For some reason, since it was JUST an outpatient procedure, I thought I would bounce back by the next day.  Not.  I feel actually like I just had a baby, all that soreness, well, er.....down under.....and cramping.....and weeping. Except I don't have a baby to play with or rather, I can sleep all night and recover.  Husband took a nicely unflattering picture of me in my garb which I hope will never see the light of day.

#2

My darling sweet peas are starting to bloom.  I've been digging in the garden (prior to Monday) and getting things going for the spring/summer.  I just haven't had time to take pics yet. The weather has been so weird.  We had some really cold days for about a week, then last week it went into the 90s, and now it's going back down to the 70s (for only a couple of days-waaaah)  My poor plants are thoroughly confused, as is the gardener.

#3

Doing the preparedness thang..... I've got a new ceramic top cookstove and I didn't want to risk cracking it so we tried pressure canning our beans outside.  It worked perfectly!  Jessica came over and learned how easy it is to do.  Thanks Lacey!! I think I will be cooking out here a lot more this summer.

#4

Spent a couple of days with Jen helping her make curtain panels for her living room. We did another window on another day.  Words cannot express how amazing this fabric is. I am super jealous and I may copy her! It's hard to see the colors but it is amazing how much warmer and cozy her room feels with the curtain panels.  See, those designers that you see on HGTV are RIGHT!

Been working on a couple of other sewing projects but I'm too lazy/tired/unmotivated to take pictures of them yet.  (hint-it involves baby quilts!)

#5

Here's a little Target love for ya'.  I found these ginormous gallon sized Mason jars and snapped every one of them up. I went back and got a couple more later.  So if you are looking for gallon sized Mason jars in Mesa, AZ, sorry, I'm the one that bought the store out a couple of weeks ago.  They are currently residing in my pantry filled with pastas.  The pantry is a reorganization project in progress.....(it seems like there is always something in progress)

I've got a bazillion other little projects in progress but I'm having to take a short break MY-O-MY, and hopefully will be on the mend and feeling normal in a few days.

Running fools.....

I have produced some amazing women, if I do say so myself! Unfortunately I don't have this fabulous picture in my computer files, so I had to take a picture of the one hanging in my house....

This last couple of weeks two of them have set high goals and accomplished them!

For the last two years we have participated in Ethan's Run, a benefit race for children with heart defects. They didn't hold it this year because the main organizer was expecting a baby and needed to take care of herself! So Amy organized her own mini "Ella's Run," her own personal goal of running 5K  oops, I stand corrected!  10K!!!!  for the first time. She enlisted her buddy, Leigh, to be her moral support. (Leigh just finished completed her first half marathon!)  So we dressed up in our Ella Ladybug shirts a couple of Saturdays ago, and cheered on our girl!

She did it!!!

Last Saturday Jen completed her first marathon!! We went to cheer her on at mile 17, she was overcome with emotion seeing us cheer her on!!

We ran ahead to the finish line to cheer her but unfortunately my iphone didn't get the picture I wanted!!!
It was incredible to see the emotion on her face as she approached the finish line. She "hit the wall" at mile 20 and wasn't sure she was going to make it.  She arrived 4 hours and 45 minutes after she started.  Her first words were, "I'm NEVER doing this again! It was the HARDEST thing I've ever done!"

Here she is after a brief bit of recovery. And after a few weeks of recovery, I'm sure she will be planning her next marathon!

I'm super proud of these girls. Jessica was planning on running the half this year, but instead she's growing a baby!!!

Way to go girlies!

It's done! It's done!

I have been obsessing over this quilt for the past several weeks. I finally finished binding it yesterday. It's so cute I could die!!  I've set a goal to redo our extra room into a playroom for the grandkids and this was part of the decor.  I'm going to get some colorful pillows to go with it.

I've been hibernating because I'm having a few....umm.....health issues. I had to have a hysterosonogram a couple of weeks ago, looking for something growing inside and ever since the exam I have felt really screwed up. So after weeks of pain I finally went back to the doctor and I have a raging infection which I feel was caused by the exam. (Look it up-I really don't want to explain what it is)  It's taken me days to feel better and I still don't feel normal. I'm headed to see a specialist tomorrow to see about...err....um.... taking out the little thing growing inside. Nope-it's not a baby.  That factory shut down years ago.

Hibernating at home helps you get things DONE-albeit slowly, but DONE!

One Fact this Friday

Okay-so I'm a fabric-holic. I'm obsessed with fabric, always have been. Running my hands over some bolts of soft cottons makes me suuuppper happy. (weird I know)  I wasn't able to do any sewing for many years because I was too busy working and raising my family and having a busy church calling but now that I have a little more spare time-(yikes I may be jinxing myself for saying that)  I'm renewing my joy and passion for sewing.

One of the reasons is this little baby......

My old machine (it really wasn't that old!) was driving me crazy. I had it in the shop about six times in the last six months. I finally gave up on it just before my birthday in November (well, isn't THAT a coincidence!!) It's a Janome 8900 and it has a large harp (the space between the needle and the case on the right side).  It is HEAVEN to machine quilt with-the main reason why I bought it. I smile every time I use it. Worth every pretty penny-(hack hack)

I found this in my Christmas stocking and it is super fun! A tiny little iron to use when I'm piecing, and making...

Barbie clothes! I decided to make this little one a matching skirt for her Barbie for her birthday this year. It was hysterically funny to make them. I had an audience of daughters while I was sewing and we were Squealing and giggling the whole time at how cute they were. I made a couple other outfits for Miss Barbie too. I envision some more Barbie clothes in the future! Note-Barbie clothes are harder than regular sized clothes!, smaller seams, smaller sizes, etc.

This is a quilt top I made for my oldest grandson's 10th birthday.  He went with me to pick fabrics and well....er........they are a little interesting.......I had to give him some guidance on that one but I used fleece for the backing and it was wonderfully soft and cozy and comfy.

This is a top I just finished. It's kind of a retro-50ish fabric. I know the lighting is horrific! My mom had cross-stitched some growth charts....

So I used the colors in them as a guide for the fabrics I picked for the quilt. These are going in the new playroom for the grandkids. Retro themed-I'm really excited.  I'm going to have an unveiling party with the grandkids around Easter, I think. (if I have a goal date-it will get DONE!!)

And I found these little cuties on line, on sale!!  It's for grandbaby #14 coming in June. Can you guess what it is?????

Here's how they told me......
And we've got another little person coming in August. Dang-that means I have more sewing to do!! and FABRIC shopping!

Wow! Three Months?

I can't believe it has been three months since I last blogged. Since then my life has had huge changes. I've toyed with the idea of giving up the blog, but I keep thinking about it, and it's a way for me to keep touch with long distance family. So I thought I would do a pictorial review of the last three months.

We buried my momma on October 6, 2012. This image is burned into my brain and it's when I cried because I saw her beautiful grandsons lovingly carrying her to her final resting place in Logan, Utah, surrounded by her ancestors that she loved so much.

Afterwards, we went to the historic Bluebird Restaurant to eat lunch. It was so amazing because my grandfather played in a band there and I loved feeling the history that had gone on there. Most of my cousins and ALL of my children and grandchildren were there. We spent a couple of hours eating, grieving and laughing over stories of my mom.

And then, before I knew it, my baby was married! It was a beautiful day with a wonderful spirit.

She is wearing my mother's wedding dress that is over 55 years old. My sister and I found it in my mom's closet and I wanted Alyssa to wear it to her wedding luncheon. We had a crisis the night before though, and I had to dash to Joann's to buy a new zipper for it. Whew! It is an amazing dress and quite the fashion now!

And after four years of serving, I was released as Relief Society president in the Tierra Rica Spanish branch. It was an amazing experience but it was time for a change.  I love my sisters with all my heart and I'm now serving as a family history consultant.

And it seemed like five minutes later.......It was CHRISTMAS!!!!!! (I'm missing one of my peeps here, Amy & Bret with their little guy, not sure where those pics went!)

This photo epitomizes the excitement and joy at Christmas time. I just loved it!

And before I knew it, we were celebrating a new year........

Life has changed dramatically. I'm now a college student in the BYU Idaho Pathway program, starting the (seemingly eternal) process of getting my bachelor's degree. I've spent some time healing and resting from the  past few months, even the past few years. More changes are ahead too......we've got some more grandbabies coming along, but of course I can't spill ALL the beans in one post!

So Howya Doin?

I'm still here.  I'm just so sad. I mean, I live my life and I have happy moments and I'm doing things, but I'm just so sad.  I can be just going along, and the sadness just sideswipes me like a hit-and-run accident.

Like today. I got a piece of exciting news last night (which I'm not allowed to share publicly yet) and I got up this morning thinking about calling my mom to tell her.

But I can't.

So I called my dad.  It's okay, but it's not quite the same.

I'm mad that I'm sad too.  Because my youngest child is going to be married in three weeks. And there are times that I can't even enjoy the moment and I feel like it's a little unfair to be slammed with this much sorrow when it should be a time of joy.

Like we had her bridal shower last Saturday.

I mean, who could be sad looking at that?

So I feel guilty about being sad and I especially hate telling people that I am sad, which is probably why I haven't blogged in awhile.  I also know in my head that I should move on and it's okay, but my heart won't let me, or is it the other way around?

I often feel crushed by all the responsibilities that I have right now and I haven't yet had time to catch a breath and regroup.

So that's how I'm doing.

Oh my gosh!! THREE WEEKS!!!