Taking a Deep Breath

A few months ago I had an overwhelming impression that my mother was going to be ill this year. It was so strong that it stayed with me for awhile and brought me to tears. I've shed many tears since.

I thought I would post an update because I know that a few people will be wondering how things are going. I've hesitated to share much because my parents are very private people.

I spent almost a week with my parents. We spent one day in the emergency room, another visit to a doctor, another visit to a clinic for a procedure and I'm so glad I was there to help out.

My mom has adenocarcinoma of the lung-Stage 4. The prognosis is very grave. Currently hospice is involved in her care and I'm comforted that someone with the skill and tenderness needed to help her at this point in time is available. She can revoke hospice at any time if she feels better.

Currently we are in limbo. Her health is declining rapidly, yet the oncologist has no treatment options available because they are waiting for test results on the cancer cells.

I weep for the love that is being shown to her by caring friends and family and medical professionals. I weep because of the love and tenderness I feel from my Heavenly Father and my own caring friends and family. I'm feeling tender and soft and oft times even flu-ish because of the grief process we are going through. It's been difficult to function because I just stare at the wall for long periods of time.

But I'm grateful for my faith because I know I will see her again, and she will be with her family that she so dearly loves. I'm going to miss her terribly. She is still with us now and is only a phone call away but I hesitate to talk to her for any length of time because she is so weak. I joy in my own sweet family and darling grandkids and the joy that a newly engaged couple exudes!

I will try to update again but it is difficult. But I'm okay.

Checking In

I'm just checking in before I check out. Life can be very interesting. You can have the highest of highs and the lowest of lows almost at the same time. Ten days ago my youngest got engaged to be married--November 29th, and today I found out my dear mother has cancer. I'm probably not going to be blogging for the foreseeable future, so I thought I would make that announcement in case anyone wonders what happened to the Matriarchal Madwoman. I'm flying out on the first flight to Salt Lake tomorrow and in between times there, will be planning a lovely wedding. I'm hoping to check back in but right now I can't even think about it.....