Sunday, September 16, 2012

Taking a Deep Breath

A few months ago I had an overwhelming impression that my mother was going to be ill this year. It was so strong that it stayed with me for awhile and brought me to tears. I've shed many tears since.

I thought I would post an update because I know that a few people will be wondering how things are going. I've hesitated to share much because my parents are very private people.

I spent almost a week with my parents. We spent one day in the emergency room, another visit to a doctor, another visit to a clinic for a procedure and I'm so glad I was there to help out.

My mom has adenocarcinoma of the lung-Stage 4. The prognosis is very grave. Currently hospice is involved in her care and I'm comforted that someone with the skill and tenderness needed to help her at this point in time is available. She can revoke hospice at any time if she feels better.

Currently we are in limbo. Her health is declining rapidly, yet the oncologist has no treatment options available because they are waiting for test results on the cancer cells.

I weep for the love that is being shown to her by caring friends and family and medical professionals. I weep because of the love and tenderness I feel from my Heavenly Father and my own caring friends and family. I'm feeling tender and soft and oft times even flu-ish because of the grief process we are going through. It's been difficult to function because I just stare at the wall for long periods of time.

But I'm grateful for my faith because I know I will see her again, and she will be with her family that she so dearly loves. I'm going to miss her terribly. She is still with us now and is only a phone call away but I hesitate to talk to her for any length of time because she is so weak. I joy in my own sweet family and darling grandkids and the joy that a newly engaged couple exudes!

I will try to update again but it is difficult. But I'm okay.

7 comments:

Kerin said...

Wishing and praying that you will be comforted during this trying time.
Sending you hugs, and praying for you, your family, and certainly for your parents.

Marion said...

I am so sorry about your mom :( I can't imagine how sad you are feeling. :(

Reno said...

My heart goes out to you and to your Mother and family.

Granny J said...

Thank you for the update. I love the last line.

I hope this doesn't sound callous; what a GIFT you were given. He loves you to the moon and back...(did you see my link on fb?) I think of you often and pray you will have peace.

Momza said...

You have been on my mind often in the pat few weeks...I'm glad you took the time to share this sacred time in your mother's life and the testimony you have of eternal life and love. We do indeed mourn with those that mourn...

Lisa said...

I'm sorry Aunt Marilyn! I love you and you and your family are in my prayers.

RhondaLue said...

Haven't been to my blog or to anyone elses in AGES but came looking today.

Just wanted to say that my dad also had stage 4 lung cancer and I know it's tough. Sometimes I still think I'm too young to be dealing with aging or ill parents!! :(

Hang in there...praying for your family.