Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Listening

Right now I'm sitting on the bed in the room in my parent's basement we affectionately call "the cave," although rumor has it that this room used to be the study for Elder Dallin H. Oaks. (previous owner of this house)

And I'm listening. Listening for the footsteps of my mother overhead. But I can't hear them.

This is the first morning of my life without my mother. She passed away suddenly yesterday afternoon. Of course we knew it was coming, and in our own self-important way, we were discussing our arrivals to the family home to assist my dad. But she surprised us all by leaving quickly. The nurse thought that it was a blood clot in her healthy lung. She had taken a turn for the worse over the weekend and we knew that angels were near and the veil was thin.

But I didn't get to talk to her yesterday. I'm sad. I spent the whole day making her a comfort quilt and she left us about the same time I finished it.

I've not shared much during this time because I've felt like I've had my own little package of grief that I didn't want to open and share with the public.

For the time being, we will be together as a family and plan how to honor this woman who, in the sense of the world, made little impact, but was our whole world.

10 comments:

Lisa @ Pulsipher Page said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Lisa said...

You are in my prayers! I love you!Hang in there.

Amy said...

Your final statement says it all. How I love and miss this lady.

Reno said...

Oh, Marilyn- I am so sorry. So sorry.

Suzie said...

Marilyn, I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you and your family for this tremendous loss. I'm thinking about you and saying a special prayer for you. May the coming days be filled with love and sacred experiences to buoy you up.

Momza said...

How blessed you are to have had such a divine mother. Her legacy lives in all those who were good and loved by her. That is the most noble grace we can hope for in this life. My condolences to you and your sweet family.

Alice Wills Gold said...

Oh Marilyn,
I am so sorry for the your loss.
I am so glad you shared it with us so you can know that we mourn with those that mourn. Our Sunday School teacher asked what the difference was between mourning and sorrow. When you think about it, we only have room for mourning in the gospel because Christ can swallow up all the sorrow. I know you will see your mama again. I KNOW this. As I know you KNOW. Yet give yourself time to mourn and let others mourn with you because we want to. That's what we do when we are one big family. HUGS and PRAYERS for you and yours.

Mo said...

I am so sorry for your loss Marilyn. You are in my thoughts. I feel sure your faith and your wonderful family will help you through this difficult time. Much love. xx

Kerin said...

Dear friend...
my heart is heavy for you.
Sending warm thoughts and saying prayers for you all....

K.

RhondaLue said...

I just now saw this and I'm so very sorry for your loss. :*(

My dad also went suddenly from his lung cancer but his had already spread to his brain so we sort of looked at the thrown clot as a tender mercy that he was able to go quickly. The big picture of slowly dying from the brain cancer was absolutely atrocious.

Even when you are somewhat prepared it is still so difficult. Hugs, thoughts, and prayers going out for you and the family. :(