Monday, February 1, 2010

Pensive & Reflective

Pensive     (pen-siv)    adj.

dreamily or wistfully thoughtful.

Reflective (ri-flek-tiv)  adj.

syn.  contemplative, meditative, thoughtful.

I woke up this morning with this kind of mood, I suppose perhaps because I have a raw and burning throat and all my carefully laid plans for today are like the house of cards that collapses with the mere breath of wind. And also perhaps because my youngest offspring is in way worse shape than me, sleeping off the effects of her latest Nyquil dose....She's been burning the candle at both ends. She's learned how from the master of course.

So today I think I'll back off, pay the bills, like any dutiful house manager does on the 1st of the month, do some reading, take a nap and think of something reaallly easy for dinner.

I'm feeling reflective because two important anniversaries have come to pass and I've been doing some reflecting.

A year ago today I was called to be the Relief Society president of a small Spanish branch. To say that I was surprised is a gross understatement, although I had spiritual inklings ahead of time, to which I immediately dismissed as being a load of crock..........

I was used to being in the background, happily leading the music, learning the language, enjoying the people and staying in the shadows.

I suppose if I had been called to be the president in my own English speaking ward, I could have girded up my loins, fresh courage take, like my pioneer ancestors, and done just fine.

But this....this has reduced me to a puddle of humanity, literally, and forced me to my knees pleading for help on many, many, many occasions.  I used to cry before every meeting and visit.  I wished I could just make it go away many times.

But what have I learned?  I've learned that Divine Help is always available. I've learned I can do some hard things even though I don't want to. I have learned more about what it means to have the gift of feel a conduit of light and inspiration literally flowing from above into my heart and brain and out of my mouth. I've learned that God loves me and my sisters. I've been awed and humbled at the faith of people who sometimes don't know where their next meal is coming from, who fear for their safety at times and are subject to ridicule and discrimination. I love them for their infinite patience with me, trying to muddle through the language and sweetly correcting my mistakes. I love their abrazos and beautiful dark eyes and glossy dark hair. And their kids....oh wow....such beautiful babies!

So I'll close for now, drink a cuppa echinacea tea, and report on my other anniversary tomorrow. One must have another blog topic waiting in the wings........


Granny J said...

Kassi and I chuckle at how our lives parallel. I too have been ill for the last week...I think I'm on the mend. Hot herb tea with a melted coughdrop add helped me to breath. That is my new favorite way to drink tea!

New callings: I received one of those a few weeks ago...and also totally dismissed my very first thought....I shouldn't have. Mine is as small as yours is big but I go to it reluctantly. It's going to be great when I get my heart right! ;)

Your day sounds a lot like mine...only my hubby is home today, need I say more?!

Take care!

RhondaLue said...

crap. I gotta pay bills today too. Thanks for the reminder!

Happy Anniversary! I can't even imagine the stressful times that this calling has brought but you sure handle it like a champ! (even if you cried before meetings you still WENT and didn't beg to be released like maybe *I* would've done!)

GGMA said...

I wish that I could take credit for the wonderful woman that you are. Instead I am grateful for the things that you do. Love you.

Amy said...

Happy Anniversaries, Mom. I hope you and Lyss feel better soon.

Anonymous said...

I love hearing about your work in the Spanish branch. We have been heading up a food drive and I went yesterday to our Spanish branch and Asian ward to pick up their donations. Many of these families need to take food out of the box instead of donating but their faith has them giving when asked. I feel such a powerful feeling when I am in their presence. Very humbling!

Just ME the MOM said...

Tender testimony - thank you for sharing that. I never fail to be amazed at our Heavenly Fathers love and guidance, so uniquely given to each of his children. We know we are engaged in an important work - and he won't leave us on our own.

((hugs for you))


Joy For Your Journey said...

Wow. One year! I remember when you received the calling. It sounds like it has been a wonderful and challenging experience with a lot of learning involved. Thanks for sharing your testimony.

Lori said...

Love ya, hope you feel better!