Thursday, November 19, 2009

Listen to Your Inner Voice

Nearly three weeks ago, I ventured out to get my annual mammogram. Really, no big deal people. It's not that bad. Except this time, as the technician was manipulating and stretching and poking on the left side, I began to feel distinctly uneasy.

I brushed it off and went on my way, feeling smug for checking off the necessary evil for again another year.

Then two days later, the phone call. I needed to go back for another check, on the left side, plus an additional ultrasound. Earliest available appointment, ten days away.

My heart stopped. Tears flowed. A frantic call to my mother, and my aunt, who is a breast cancer survivor. (don't we always think the worst!!!)

Sorry kids, I didn't tell you. This is the first time most of them are hearing about this.

After the panic subsided, I listened to my inner voice......
It said, "it's probably ok, but if there is something there, it isn't going to go away and it won't do you any good to fuss over it."

So I listened. I lived my life but I asked my husband and son to give me a blessing the day before. How grateful I am for worthy men in my life!

The time arrived. The technician was compassionate. She explained that the earlier xray had not been clear. The tissue was "wadded up" and she needed a little more detailed look for the radiologist. If the first xray was good, then I wouldn't need the ultrasound.

Burden slightly lighter.
Why didn't they tell me on the phone in the first place? It would have saved some unnecessary worrying....

Xray completed and I shuffle off to wait in a tiny room while the dr. looks at the xray. I can go if all is well.

Three minutes later, the welcome words, "you're good to go! It's all normal tissue."

The air whooses out of my lungs. My burden is lifted.

Listen to your inner voice.
My voice was "uneasy" during the first xray. The technician wasn't as careful as she should have been. My inner voice later assured me that all would be well.

Listen to your inner voice, or by whatever name you may call it....The Holy Spirit, The Holy Ghost, your conscious........

It will guide you. It has guided me many, many, many times......
It is a gift from God.

That inner voice.

10 comments:

Jessica said...

WHAT?! So much for talking to my mom and know all about your woes! Maybe I am talking about myself too much and I need to listen more :( Sorry! I am glad all is well though, I would have been mad if there were more details and I learned about it on the blog :) Love you mommy!

Momza said...

What an awful burden on your heart.
I am so so so entirely happy for your safety and health this day!!

You deserve a special day...so do something just for you!

Cassandra said...

Whoa, I am glad that everthing is ok. I love that inner voice that always seems to be right.

Reno said...

I'm so glad everything is okay.

Larissa said...

Glad it all turned out okay!

RhondaLue said...

whew! p.s. My mom doesn't tell me stuff like that either. She doesn't want to worry me but when I find out later I feel bad she didn't have someone to confide her worries in. She said, "well what would you have done if you knew?"
My response "WORRY! But I could at least pray too!" lol

Mari said...

So relieved to hear all is well. That is definitely one fear that I think we all share. I'm with Momza, you should do something special!

GGMA said...

I'm not your inner voice, but as your outer voice, ALL IS WELL!!

Granny J said...

Scares like this really make you think about what's important huh?

It's good to hear that you're well!

Joy For Your Journey said...

Oh dear, My inner voice has been telling me for about four years to get a mammogram. And I have four prescriptions in my top drawer--and a friend who keeps nagging me, but I still keep putting it off. I really need to do something about that. Okay, one more thing . . .