I'm still here. I'm just so sad. I mean, I live my life and I have happy moments and I'm doing things, but I'm just so sad. I can be just going along, and the sadness just sideswipes me like a hit-and-run accident.
Like today. I got a piece of exciting news last night (which I'm not allowed to share publicly yet) and I got up this morning thinking about calling my mom to tell her.
But I can't.
So I called my dad. It's okay, but it's not quite the same.
I'm mad that I'm sad too. Because my youngest child is going to be married in three weeks. And there are times that I can't even enjoy the moment and I feel like it's a little unfair to be slammed with this much sorrow when it should be a time of joy.
Like we had her bridal shower last Saturday.
So I feel guilty about being sad and I especially hate telling people that I am sad, which is probably why I haven't blogged in awhile. I also know in my head that I should move on and it's okay, but my heart won't let me, or is it the other way around?
I often feel crushed by all the responsibilities that I have right now and I haven't yet had time to catch a breath and regroup.
So that's how I'm doing.
Oh my gosh!! THREE WEEKS!!!