Thursday, March 27, 2008

Confessions of a Former Porkette



My Name is Madwoman and I am a former Porkette. I became a Porkette in 1976 by marrying a pork producer (not called a Porker) and into a family of pork producers. I have no idea how this name evolved, but in the early days before political correctness, some genius decided to call the wives of Pork Producers "Porkettes." Our main job was to promote the use and eating of Pork. I have no idea how much I contributed to this effort---I don't really remember doing a lot about it other than going to dinners and discussing the benefits of pork eating. I recently came across an old newspaper article with a picture of my sister in law at a local grocery store in our small town with the word "Porkette" prominently featured in the headline. I have no idea what she was doing but she definitely was fulfilling her assigment as a Porkette. Alas, those days are gone....the name has probably gone by the way too......

You haven't lived until you have experienced a real live pig farm. This is not a photo of ours but it looked exactly the same, only bigger......In those days, we had around 5000 of the little porkers running around. The stench and the noise are absolutely impossible to describe. I remember the first time I went into a farrowing barn where the mamas were having their babies and being absolutely terrified of the huge sows and feeling the hot wave of pig excrement smell wash over me...........(my dad used to say it smelled like money) Oh-the stories I could tell about washing the stuff off blue jeans.........But, alas those days are gone by too and we are awash in city life and are far far away from pig excrement.....

Hence, the reason why we traded the delivery fee for our first-born son for a pig. The end.

7 comments:

Spin said...

this absolutely cracks me up!! i always wanted a dwarf pig for a pet. maybe seeing it from your end would cure me of that

John Taylor Family said...

Gone are the days for trad'n :)

I love the comment about getting out pig smell ... think some of your tricks would work on a 14 year olds stink?

Damama T said...

Porkette! HA! I love it. Isn't it strange how times have changed. No way would any company get away with such these days!

I raised 3 pigs when I was little. They were my babies even though they were huge and I only weighed about 60 lbs. One day when I came in from school and they didn't come when I called them I learned the hard way where bacon comes from. Didn't eat anything pork for years after that. Poor little me!

Suzie said...

oink!

Hero said...

I looooooved reminding Rick he was traded for a pig.

Allyson said...

I did not know that about you. Did you have any Wilburs---that you just loved.

Alice Wills Gold said...

I've heard there is nothing more stinky than a pig farm.

I was just reading your bio..I love the color red, office supply stores and taking too many photos.

I used to be into clutter free spaces but I don't think I will go back to that place until I move out of my small house.